Good, Bad or Indifferent?...

You decide. I have said many a time in the past that there are days when one should not cook, especially me. If one is in a funk or out of their head with whatever shit that may play havoc on them, it might just be best to have the team step up and do what they do best. You can still navigate, direct, coach and mentor and craft, but maybe don't take point on this one. We can not all be on the very top of our game every day. It is impossible. We all have issues from time to time...great days and bad. Emotional stress and anxiety. Pain and struggle as well as over joyous happiness. Fatigue and hypersensitivity. It is best I think to play your main role of cooking when you are at your best or at least close to it, thus allowing for the optimum mental attitude, positivism and clarity. Now, that said, I have also stated that some of my best work, at least I felt was at a time of complete brokenness. Oh well, that is up for debate and for another discussion. My point is, is that one's view of your cooking is perhaps different from another and altogether a departure from your own. The other night while cooking a special menu for a group, I felt completely out of sorts. I don't know what the hell was up, but I could not get in sync. My mind was wandering, my rhythm was off, my timing poor, my focus lacked and my thoughts so unclear. I was completely distracted for whatever reason, but as I paid attention to the diners, I could tell they were having a great time, or so I would think. I shared my thoughts with our team about my state and discussed the need for coherency and focus. It was interesting to me that course after course, I continued to feel unhappy about my cooking and that it was not until the last meat course where I felt at peace about things. In the end, I believe that the guests enjoyed themselves. It was a special celebration and close gathering thus hard to have a bad time in those circumstances and environments. This leads into a topic of commitment to excellence and the dedication to perfection. Striving for a goal that is really quite unobtainable in one's eyes, knowing you will never reach that peak, and may not satisfy yourself, although it is likely you will have satisfied most everyone else, is so profound. This very well may have been the case in point that night. Food for thought. As for the food...you decide. I'm still searching.

rabbit loin salad, asparagus, sous vide beets, beet paint, maple gel
pistachios, micro arugula, chevre-potato napoleon, pedro ximenez dressing

seared jumbo sea scallop, fava beans, salsify, chorizo, meyer lemon potatoes
wood sorrel, sturgeon caviar, wood sorrel sauce

pan roasted monkfish, seared foie gras, porcini creamed nettles
melted spring garlic, carrot-cardamom emulsion, shellfish-herb nage

poached rhubarb, meyer lemon, celery, licorice fern ice

coffee crusted lamb loin, hedgehog mushroom-cipolline onion compote
baby artichokes, prune puree, smoked pine nuts, onion blooms
golden raisin-onion agro dolce, eggplant-balsamic sauce